Tell Your Story

Date: 3/24/01
Comments
Hi Pauli, My name is Mrs. Donna Steinman steinman@colescomputers.net I found your article by clicking of for search of closed head injuries, which my husband suffered during auto accident on his way home from work on August 7, 1997. He had hit a cow that another vehicle had already hit and the cow was laying in the road so he never saw what he hit, it was a miracle, in that his truck slid and then rolled over. All thought they told me he never lost conspicuousness, he had hit the back of his head and had a concussion. He lost all his memory of his entire life and to this day has not regained any of it per say. He didn't know me, his parents or who he was or any of his child hood. Bill, it has been very frustrating in a lot a ways because the car insurance would like to claim that it is all due to just post-trauma, but I know how smart my husband was before the accident and how he now misspells some words that most normal people would never misspell. I do not believe that even cat scans or mri's will show totally everything. Bill has come a long ways from where he was and is able to work and I very fortunate that he has made it as far as he has. I enjoyed your article on close head injuries as me and my husband beside the psychologist and his Psychiatrist, a lot of times feel alone in having to deal with all of this and its effect. No one really knows especially for the wife how I do grieve for the loss of his memories of our lives and marriage, and having for him to start all over. We have had some sad and funny times since then and this November will be married 23 years for me and about 3 and a half for him. He had to relearn everything and even how to drive again. And he is still learning about different feelings and how to put the names of them together. I am very glad to have gotten our computer as it has opened so many doors for me and my husband loves getting on the net as his interest is in anything to do with space. Bye for now Donna Steinman

Date: 4/5/01
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Pauli, I read with interest your site on closed head injury. I will visit again to read the rest of the story. I can understand what you say, because my husband suffered a brain injury 25 years ago when he was thrown from the back of a motorcycle. He was in a coma for several days, and luckily came out of it. However, he had to retrain his body for many functions, like holding a fork, walking, etc. It took a year to get back to what looked like "normal" but he still suffers from amnesia. He cannot remember many learned things from his childhood, i.e. one day he asked me who Adam and Eve is, he "remembered hearing about them somewhere". He is now a successful self-employed person and I am extremely proud of him, but a lot of people think he is "slow" because he doesn't understand some things they talk about, such as who is Robin Hood, and things that "everybody knows", or because it takes him a few extra seconds to digest what someone has said. He is not "slow", in fact very intelligent. But because of this brain injury, he is thought of as "different" sometimes. Not fair! I am happy to see your head injury site. Maybe some people who read what is there, will stop and think before they make a cruel, thoughtless remark to someone next time. Judie

Date: 9/5/2001
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I suffered a closed head injury May 15th, 1998. It was a date that should have been significant for other reasons - it was my high school graduation. After graduation ceremonies I attended project graduation which is designed to be a safe night of fun. Our project graduation was held in the Jefferson City YMCA about 35 miles away. While at project graduation I participated in a sumo wrestling game with a good friend of mine. We first climbed into padded suits that made us look like fat marshmallow men in diapers and each of us were assisted in standing to our feet and a helmet that looked like sumo hair in a pony-tail was placed on our heads. The object was to push the other sumo wrestler down to the mat. My friend and I ran straight into each other several times and when we fell backwards my helmet came off and I struck the concrete floor. I don't remember much but classmates of mine have said that they took me out of the sumo suit and after trying to keep me awake the directors of the project graduation event took me to the emergency room. At the ER they took x-rays of my neck and said that I had whiplash and a mild concussion. I was given a prescription for the nausea because I felt ill to my stomach but had not yet vomited. My mother was called and I was released from the ER to her. By this time the all-night lock-in of project graduation was more than half over. I made it back home and my mom went to work leaving me with my sister to make sure I was alright. A few hours after leaving the ER in Jefferson City I began vomiting. Concerned my sister called my mother at work, and she said she would be home soon. When she got home she loaded me into the car and took me to the ER at our local hospital. There they did a cat scan and found that I had actually sustained a scull fracture from my fall. I was then transported in an ambulance to a University hospital 80 miles away. I spent 6 days at the University most of which is a blank to me. At least I was going to get help with the pain.

Immediately following the accident I had a sore neck and extreme sensitivity to light and sound. My eyes would burn and the lightest sounds would pound through my head. The headaches were beyond measure - I had partially broken my head it is a headache very few can understand. After being released from the hospital I was told to take it easy - which is what I had to do considering I still could not go out during the day because the light was too bright and sounds too loud to stand. I spent most of my summer at my house shut in my bedroom with blankets over the windows to not let any light in and ear plugs to block out sounds from the house. A few months later I was able to start leaving my room. I would watch TV with dark sunglasses on and earplugs. I had to put off college for a year due to problems with short term memory. I had to write down reminders about everything - I once wrote a reminder to myself to yell at my sister for borrowing my shirt because if I didn't write it down I would forget. Over time the memory stuff has gotten better but I still keep a notebook of things to remember.

I am a different person than who I use to be and each day that fact nags at me. Many people will suffer traumatic brain injuries and not remember anything about who they use to be but I do know who I use to be and I know that I am not that person anymore no matter how hard I try. For months after my accident I would see doctors for rehab and once I could walk straight and my speech was good they acted like I should be fine and nothing was wrong. But although they could not see it something was wrong. I was not at the level that I was before but because I was at an acceptable level then I must be fine. Years later after many internal wars I am starting to come to terms with the fact that I am just going to have to deal with this and I will just have to be somebody different.

Thanks for letting me use this space. jujubean505@yahoo.com

Date: 1/1/2002
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my name is Courtney- in July of 1998 I was involved in a motor vehicle accident, I was eighteen years old- I was rear ended, and even though the accident was low impact ( 35 mph ) it's had a very severe impact on my life. their were no bruises, no contusions or abrasions or blood; only confusion, dizziness, blurred vision and a slight headache immediately after the accident. I was up and running around like anyone does after an accident- I was worried about my Dad's car, the end of it was crunched and scratched but at least it was drivable- when the ambulance arrived I refused treatment because I was late to meet my mother for lunch and I thought I was fine. After lunch that day I became more and more heavy feeling, I saw more and more "sun spots" or whatever, I was dizzy, nocuous, and extremely sleepy. I went to bed and didn't wake up until late the next day when I woke up and opened my eyes I couldn't see. So I just sat their in my bed rubbing my eyes and getting very worried. after a min. or two the blackness began to sort of melt away piece by piece until I had a clear picture of my room. I stood up and became very funny feeling, it was if I was standing on unlevel ground and my feet could not find the right place to stand. I began to cautiously head for my bedroom door and as I began to pass through the doorway I ran my shoulder and the right side of my body into the door frame just missing the right side of my head... this is just a bit of what I experienced- the doctors said I was fine- 2 months later - first seizure and a trip to the ER.

I had a few more seizures after that and lost my privilege to drive. My Cat scans and MRI's were normal, I don't think anything showed up on the EEG either- never the less I still am left with a seizure disorder, and a mental capacity that is only a fraction of what it once was- I will never be the same- I'm slow to comprehend incoming information, slow to answer questions, and retrieve stored material, I sometimes stutter or lose total thought mid sentence. My balance is often off- and my depth perception is off a hair sometimes too. I understand where you are if you suffer from TBI- it's hard to describe- but I am just a different person. I look the same- but I'm not. I don't know if I will ever be. Everyone says they don't notice- but I do. johnston@tacc.net

Date: 1/12/2002
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Pauli, as others have stated I found your site while gathering info on head injuries. I was rear ended at 60 m.p.h. while stopped at a red light by a drunk driver in Nov. of 2000.I suffer from severe migraines (though the frequency and severity have lessened from the week long ones) memory loss, inability to stay on task, a nerve problem in my right shoulder and had surgery on my nose which although I was wearing a seatbelt ,received a deviated septum. I am trying to gather info on people who suffer with migraines as a result of a head injury and have not had much luck yet. I too know that is it not age I'm 47),stress or any of the other cavalier things people sometimes say to excuse me. I was not this way on Nov. 1,2000 when I went to work but ,became this way after the accident. I am embarrassed at times as I was always very detail oriented and extremely organized....I no longer can say that about myself. I go back and forth between thinking "Hey, I am alive, so what's so bad" and being very upset that I can not do things as I did before. It is very hard for me to get people to understand how frustrated I feel. Thankfully I have been receiving great medical care and have Dr's that are taking this seriously. Thank you for the chance to say these things. Teresa Higgins...rabbithabit2000@yahoo.com

Date: 2/20/2002
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MY 19 YEAR OLD NEPHEW WAS HIT BY A DRIVER WHO HAD BEEN DRINKING 3 NIGHTS AGO. HE HAS BLEEDING ON THE BRAIN. WE ARE ALL SO WORRIED HE HAS HARDLY OPENED HIS EYES. HE HAS BROKEN BONES, AND WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT OTHER THAN WE ARE ALL SCARED AND PRAYING FOR HIS LIFE TO RETURN TO NORMAL.

Date: 7/29/2002
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HI Pauli, my name Rhonda. I fall in June this year hitting left side of head on bathroom stall. since I not get knock out, doctors say they not think I have CHI. but my speech bad my lang. bad. I have headache all time. My writing used to be neat now I write like first grader. ( I, 37 year old ) I can't drive anymore cause I dizzy so bad when I move around too much. I have had seizure and passed out ( one week after fall ) so doctors say that not have anything to do with hitting head. but from friend and family that know how I used to be and see me and hear my speech now seem to think I have stroke from brain swelling. I had 2 CT scan and one MRI -- I was told both now show swelling only show blood if brain bleed. No one seem to help me. I go to neuro. and he want to EEG done but WORK COMP deny all test for me. now we wait for lawyer to go court to get me treatment I need. Until then I live each day with headache and slurred speech and have hard time thinking of words I want to say. I really have think hard before I talk. In my head I know what I want say but not come out right. like you, I no longer can do things I like, ( scrap booking, coloring, writing, nothing pretty anymore, so I not do). one doctor tell me I have photo phobia and he say for sure he think I have CHI-however, he not do anything for me but tell lawyer I need neruo. ASAP. This all for now. just waiting for help, day to day -- which depress me. cause I not same person anymore. Make me sad.


Date: 12/16/2002
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Hello Pauli , On October 9 2002 I was a passenger in a rear end collision the car that hit us was going app.40 miles per hour we were at a dead stop since then I have had memory loss, confusion head and neck pain and unable to function on a normal basis just last week finally been diagnosed with a closed head injury .

Date: 1/17/2003
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Hi Pauli, I got to your site first via your Closed Head Injury information. Then to discover all the other aspects which are informative, great dolls and I have not had the chance to get through it all yet. But I will! And to find a subject that I hold near & dear to my heart--Child Abuse. So glad to find others addressing the issue and working to change things. I have had to withdraw from my work for awhile to heal from a bad auto accd. I am a nurse & starting with a church member who came to the hospital unexpectedly to supervise my discharge & to inform me that I had been inappropriate and they had put her in charge of me! I knew this woman, but not her "professional side" which is apparently one size fits all. She started shouting orders (including who I could and couldn't call). Ouch, she pierced my ears since I developed hyperacusia following the accd. To each order I stated, I can't remember and the response was, a very loud, "what do you mean you can't remember". After ordering me to open my door to meet with her 3-4 times (we sat on the cold cement of the porch). She did major damage to my relationship with the church & friends & I got rid of her after a few days, but she never corrected her misunder- standings which leaves me alienated with the church. I have not read your story yet but will do so later today or tomorrow as well as visiting 2 or 3 other sites I haven't gotten to yet. Thanks so so much. I'll be back to work for the children ASAP. But, my father died suddenly 5 months after my accd. & then my mother was killed this past Aug. with major/multiple head injuries. So, I am also doing some heavy duty grieving & my 3 siblings have abandoned me. So, I have a friend since birth & we called each other's moms our 2nd mom and I call my friend my sister. She was visiting home from Kansas and I don't know what I would have done without her. My mom had just left their house and drove about a mile. Thanks for listening. Didn't mean to tell you my life's story, but with this head injury, brief doesn't seem to exist any more. Is rather embarrassing. Fabulous Site, Bobbi

Date: 2/5/2003
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Pauli--
I'm not yet able to write my story, but I'm glad I found yours. It is 1:50 AM; my family is asleep. I am awake and worrying. Will I ever be able to work again? How will we pay for all these bills? It is hard for my children. They keep asking when my brain will get better (It has been a little over a year since the accident). Everything is so very hard. Thanks for listening.
Love,
Carol

Date: 3/18/2003
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Hi Pauli, my name is Michelle, i am a 18 year old college student. On Nov. 17th 2002 a couple of friends and me were in a serious car accident, my friend lost control of the vehicle at 70 mph and drove into a field and hit a tree trunk, the car rolled 6 or 7 times, the accident report said, I wasnt wearing a seatbelt and was ejected out the back window and landed on my head. I had to be life flighted to the trauma center and my friends were taken to the nearest hospital by ambulance and released that night. I spent 3 days in the ICU two of them in a barbituate coma and in critical condition. My right eye was black and blue and swollen shut, I had to be on a respirator and have my arms and legs tied dow because I kept trying to pull the respirator out and I kept trying to kick people, I had a 46 cm laceration on my scalp a long with several lacerations on my abdomen, forhead, and back, and have very little feeling in the back left side of my head or above my right eye. When they first looked at my CAT scan they thought I had axonal diffusion, a profuse swelling of the brain, but then the neurosurgeon came in and looked at it, and said it was a normal CAT scan. The first thing i remember was my mom's birthday, which is the 26th of Nov.,so I think I probably had (PTA) post traumatic amnesia, even though I was never diagnosed with it. The first few days that I can remember after the PTA wore off were the most interesting but scariest days of my life. I thought that I was in a "lucid dream" for about 3 days (that I can remember but it might have beeen longer), it was like I was in a dream and I couldnt wake up, after a couple days and after the realization that 3 days was way too long to be in a dream I thought that I must be schizophrenic or had taken some kind of strong drug because i was so out of touch with reality. My brother and sister said I kept asking them if I was "high" and my mom said I kept ranting about how I was "retarted", and I kept saying "nothing mattered because everything is just a dream anyways", I remember thinking I had sewn up my own head and left the needle in, but became frantic when nobody believed my or took me seriously, I was apparently asking a bunch of odd questions, I asked my mom if "I was a vegtable?", and she said "what do you mean", and I responded with the question "was I born a vegtable?". I had serious problems with my memory and wasnt thinking clearly, one night I was walking into my house with my mom behind my and she turned around to get the newspaper, or something, when I noticed she wasnt behind my I thought she had "disappeared" and I thought it was because I had stopped "concentrating" on her, and almost started crying. I was sleeping around 20 hrs. a day the first week and a half and hadnt realized I had been in a car accident until about 2 weeks later when my mom showed me the newspaper articles and my cloths that were cut off of me and covered in blood, it was about 3 or 4 weeks before things seemed totally "real" and I was mentally back to normal (or at least close). I saw a speech therapist 4 or 5 times and several doctors, and have improved a lot, A few weeks after the accident I couldnt even think of the word "fire hydrant" when shown a picture of it. I still have problems with my memory and I cant think of the right words a lot of the time or have words just "on the tip of my tongue", it takes me longer to process information, and I think I am reading slower than I was before, I went for a neuro psych evaluation, but havnt gotten the results back yet, but the scars and the idea that i might have problems resulting from my brain injury honestly doesnt bother me. I was ejected 20 ft. from a rolling vehichle at 70 mph and landed on my head, people generally dont live from accidents like that, and im still here walking and talking, and am going to get a second chance to live the rest of my life and am so grateful for that, cause being dead would be a drag, I enjoy life so much and its all I got for certain, the accident has made me appreciate life so much more and be so much more careful with it, because the realization that bad stuff can and does happen to me and even though i'm young I could still die at any time, has come up and gave me a swift kick to the butt. Thank you for giving me a chance to tell my story. I think this website is great, and it took me a long time to find a website like this but i'm glad I finally did. moonshadow001@msn.com

Date: 3/26/2003
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Hi Pauli. Great web-site. I'm Mike from the UK. My twin brother (49) has just been knocked off his bike by a fast drunk car driver. He has CHI and has been sedated for a week so far and is critical. I will tell his story when the time is right. Many thanks for all your efforts.

Date: 4/18/2003
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When I was 16 yrs. old---I was in a car accident that rendered me comatose for 8 days. This ruined my self-esteem. I always wondered if I were retarded--after that. I lost years of my life...

Date: 7/9/2003
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Pauli, Great website! My husband had an accident in November of 1997 where he had a closed head injury. For the first 2 years he was mostly incoherent - stuttered, blacked out, explosive temper, couldn't work. Rehab nurse told us it was in his head that nothing showed on any test. It has been so disheartening to try and try to find someone that understands and believes what he is going through. It's hard on me watching him go through it. He went about a year and a half without a dizzy spell and now they're back. He'll be talking to you and all of a sudden he'll slide off the chair and black out. They've taken away his driving priviledge for now until doctors can decide how to help him. Which in turn has caused him not to be able to go to work. We're to go to a neurologist this week. I'm just praying that we can get a doctor to say that all this stems from his original accident in 1997. It was an accident that happened while he was at work - it's been a trial of errors from the first day. The hospital he was taken to put us down as self-pay therefore they didn't keep him to observe him. On that day that the worker's put us down as self pay we had 2 forms of insurance coverage - worker's comp & the regular medical insurance I had on us. Worker's comp quit paying medical bills after the 1st year and now I'm trying to see if an attorney can me any before I have to file bankruptcy.

I want to say to everyone that has one of these injuries to keep up your faith and hang in there. There will be or is someone that understands that this is NOT your normal self and that you have been damaged in some way.

I'll say a prayer for all of you. My only request is that ya'll include my husband and myself in your prayers. We have to all stand together.
Thanks and good luck - sealfriend@yahoo.com

Date: 7/16/2003
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Pauli, I just found your website and I want to say thank you so much for it.I was searching for info on CHI's. I was hit head on by a drunk driver in 1998,I was wearing my seatbelt, they say if not for the seatbelt and air bag I would not be alive but I have to give credit to the good Lord, He was in that car with me that night. We were on a main highway traveling at speed around 55 miles an hour. I did not hit my head, but every since the crash so much has changed, I can no longer remember a lot of things or how to perform even simple tasks, I can not remember peoples names, I can not remember things that happened in the past. I can be talking and I lose my train of thought, I have a very violent temper now, whereas before I was always easy going. I will explode at the least little thing. I suffer from headaches, sometimes I have little black spots floating around in my eyes. Should all of this have gone away by now or will I always be this way? Is there any help for it. I get so mad at myself sometimes cause I can not remember how to do things or remember people. It gets frustrating. Should I try to find a dr who knows about CHI's? I do not know what to do and would love some advice. Thank you and God bless you! Jennifer wills_angel4ever@yahoo.com

Date: 8/3/2003
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I was shocked to see your website. I always feel that when talking to people, they are sympathetic but unless you have a head injury, you will never really understand. I was in a car accident 3/9/99. I went from being a very independent single mother, worked two jobs, and managed everything on my own, to having 24 hour supervision, and totally dependent on my parents, sisters, and children. My head injury causes me to have seizures, and seems to be getting worse every year. I try to take things one day at a time, and am very thankful that I have the support of family and friends. I am currently looking at all options of treatment. (that is if their are any left that I haven't already tried. I would love to talk to anyone that has a C.H.I. Talking to people who know what your going through first hand, might make me feel better.

Tammy Bombshellshell@yahoo.com

Date: 8/5/2003
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At 17 I had a car wreck, I am 22 now, i have had to relearn everything in my life and am still struggling for indpendance. i have a loving family that is with me but we need so much more help to understand what to do to go further with recovery. i need speech which was cut out when i turned 21.i have 3 days of pt only and do some work at home. resorces are slim and it seems so unfair. please contact me. tandyb69@hotmail.com or my mom at..georgetta slone,po box 218,virgie, Kentucky 41572..please

Date: 11/16/2003
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Hi Pauli, thank you for telling your story. I had 2 accidents. One in April 2001, and then Jan. of 03. I had my neck operated on, and have a closed head injury. I also live in Denver. Would love to visit with you. Please email me at Cherylsbluebug@earthlink.com
Thank you....Cheryl

Date: 12/18/2003
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Hi my name is Elizabeth I had a closed head injury about ten yrs. ago and still suffer from it. I had a Aneurysm in the head when I was 24. 6yrs. passed and had a stroke in the same spot. I really do not know what I am looking for. e-mail ec.burrell@juno.com

Date: 1/19/2004
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Dear Pauli, I just turned our new computer that was giving to us and found this website. On Dec. 11 my 18 yr. old son was assaulted by another boy with a weapon. We think it was a hammer. My son was getting in his car with his hands in his pocket when he was attacked. He spent 11 days in the hospital and now has 3 plates in his left eye. His whole face was crushed. We were horrified at such an act of violence. To make matters worse we lost our health insurance 2 yr. ago! My son is doing good. We had to teach him a lot over, and he still has poor vision in the left eye. But my biggest concern is the memory. He has trouble with short term memory. He was in his first year of college when this happened. So his grandfather" who is from Denver" bought him this PC so that he can go on-line and do his classes. We also thing it will help his memory. I don't know what the future holds for was. We are a strong family, but no family should have to watch their son almost die because of violence. My e-mail is susieq_29527@yahoo.com. I would love to talk to people about this, that way I don't feel so alone

Date: 1/22/2004
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I will write my story soon.... when I can... My daughter is up and I won't be able to hide...BUT I want you all to know that I am soooooo relieved to know that I am not alone.......

Date: 2/22/2004
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I was driving to work early one morning and it was very foggy. Suddenly I remember seeing a white trailer and then next thing I knew I was in the hospital. Actually a tractor and trailer full of gravel had pulled out in front of me and the trailer was what I end up hitting. I was extremely close when I saw the white part of the trailer on my side of the road because of all the fog, and all I could do was swerve to attempt to miss it. Because of me seeing it very close by is honestly the reason I'm alive. I had many injuries and they all took months to heal, and for me to even walk again. But one of my diagnosis was a closed head injury. We didn't know much about even what it was when I first returned home. Although, we later read some symptoms of the injury, and I had 12 of the 17 symptoms which we read. My emotions were bizarre, I got angry suddenly and my family noticed quite a difference as my recovery at home continued.

Date: 4/14/2004
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Hi Pauli, My name is Jenai. I am currently in my third year at North Carolina State University. In around April, eleven years ago, I was riding my bicycle up a hill to a gas station at the top of the hill. I was going to buy some soda and candy. My aunt, who is a little over-weight and couldn't move as fast as me; a nine year old, energetic girl, was about ten steps behind me. By the time I got to the top I was excited. We went into the store and I got all types of things. As we were heading back through the intersection (in which you have to cross to go back down the hill), I was hit by a car. I do not remember anything of the accident (except being in the hospital a few times). I hit the front windshield and rolled on top of the car. After that, I rolled down the street multiple times, until I stopped, lying face-down. I was rushed to the nearest hospital, and then transported by helicopter to another one. I was in a coma for about 2 1/2 months. I had several major injuries, which included a closed head injury, fractured bones and a tracheotomy. I hardly remember anything around the time of my accident, after it, and before it. Today, I have trouble remembering things, and I do not know if my injuries have anything to do with it. I am struggling in school because I have the worst time remembering what I studied. I was a straight A student before my accident, but after it, I watched my grades fall to a B, even C level. I have trouble hearing and responding to things people say to me. Often, I am first confused at many things I see and hear. I have not selected a major and I'm not sure what I want to do as far as a career is concerned. My parents get on me all the time about school, even my sleeping patterns (which are worse than they have ever been). I usually sleep for about 14-16 hours a day and it's very hard for me to wake up to alarms and such. Like I said, I don't know if anything is wrong on account of my injury, being that it was so long ago. I am scheduled to return to the doctor to follow-up on my accident. I want a sleep study performed, but I do not have the money needed for such treatment. If anyone out there has any type of help they can give me to begin searching for answers, e-mail me at jenai_j@lycos.com . Thanks for this website. For the first time in my life, I was able to tell someone how I feel about everything that has happened and my current situations.

Date: 5/5/2004
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HI Pauli,
My mother approx. 4 weeks ago fell down a flight of steps and hit a concrete wall. From what I was told she was pretty bad off. She had 2 seizures (Spelling is horrible) and she was in the hospital for 2 days. I called to talk with her but she at the time refused any of the families phone calls, saying she didn't want myself or my brothers to take off work to come see her. She lives in Ct and we live in KY. So I talked with a nurse who told me of this wild women (mom) in there hospital that they could not calm down and she needed to be released to someone. She does not leave around family so my Aunt went up there only to find mom very agitated at everything anyone did. My aunt came home not understanding closed head injuries. My mother is a Director of a pain center, her passion however after nursing school with neuro. She knew what was going on and tried to explain the situation, but with outburst and crying jags. It's kinda bad. I am just wanting anyone to email me with suggestion of what to expect , how should I treat her. I am flying her home next week for a while to stay with my husband and myself. My email is Serrano93@aol.com. I would love any help it's all greek to me and I want to try to be prepared!! As much as I can.

Date: 5/9/2004
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I was in a accident. A lady ran a red light! And my life haven't been the same since. I'm alive but I have so many problems. I cry all the time. I wonder why? sometimes why am I alive. I'm in so much pain. I have closed head injury and TBI and other things from this accident. And the lady didn't even get a ticket. This is really rough for me! I can't say anything else. It's just painful to talk about.

Date: 5/28/2004
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I was in a car accident nearly 2 years now ,my friend was driving me back to her place along the highway in Australia, when the cars wheels got caught in gravel and she lost control of the car slamming into a tree my side of the car taking the impact, I was left with a broken left hip, and a closed head injury from smashing my face on the dashboard I don't remember the accident but i was told that I bit and punched the ambulance officer in the face and was very out of it, the next memory I have I waking up in hospital 2 days later. since this accident i have a memory problem I constantly lose my keys, wallet, I forget events, peoples names, repeat myself ,forget where I parked my car, I can no longer put things into order when retelling information, I feel as if know one I know understands what I'm going through I feel stupid dumb unreliable and worthless

Date: 6/6/2004
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Let say reading these stories has helped a lot. In June of 1997 my husband was in a head on collision with a drunk driver. We were separated at the time and I didn't find out about the accident till the next day. He was up walking around at the scene, so they assumed he had not loss conscientiousness. He was not diagnosed with a TBI or CHI, he was not taken to a trauma center, instead taken to a local hospital. He spent 3 days in ICU, and 2 on medical floor. He has progressively gotten worse. He has headaches 24 hours a day. Being a nurse I feel helpless, cause I don't know what to tell him. I have recently worked on a rehab floor, which was the first place I heard of CHI and TBI. I had asked about the possibility before, however came against brick walls. He has trouble remembering things, is very explosive, compulsive. Things have gotten way out of control. To the point I have considered separation again. We not only have all this to deal with, but we have financial trouble due to him being unable to work. I am having to support our family of 5 alone. We don't qualify for any help. He has tried to work however it never last longer than 6 months. Partly do to increased fatigue, and pain, and partly do to his uncontrolled compulsions. Feel free to email. kcomfort69@yahoo.com

Date: 6/13/2004
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I was 19 in a drunk driving accident, a 30 ft bridge the driver went off I stayed in car when it landed i went through windshield landing on my head on rocks. had 4-5 rocks in my skull but didn't break it so I got a closed head injury . If you would like more then email me mto2930@hotmail.com its a long story and im on a web site for it. Peace out

Date: 8/1/2004
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Hi Pauli, nearly twenty years ago I was involved in a terribly serious car accident. We were at a dead stop on the side of the highway, and the man coming up on us had fallen asleep with his cruise control on at 70mph.Needless to say they had to use the jaws of life to get us out. Back in those days CT scans were new, and they didn't bother doing one on me. Now, 20 years later, I find out that I had bleeding in the brain, thankfully my body reabsorbed the blood and now I have fluid there. I've had perioditic migraines, and having serious neck problems. (from a bone disease) My question is, should I even worry about the CHI from long ago? Please e-mail me at Dudette46219@aol if anyone can help. Thanks Cheryl

Date: 8/7/2004
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Hi, My name is Sienna and my story is a little different from most. I can't imagine the pain of these accidents, and my heart goes out to you all. I have always had poor balance, memory problems, and was slow to take in incoming information. I could not run, throw, or jump the way other kids did. My fine motor skills, especially hand writing, are poor. When I was 35 I opened my birth records and learned that I had been born in a charity hospital and had a forcepts delivery. My head was misshapen and bruised, arced, and my features were irregular. Because of this I was not released for adoption, and tested psychologically at 4.6 months. The tester noted the irregular features and the indents at the temples even at that age. But, I tested as normal/bright and was adopted a few weeks later. Growing up, I had absense and partial absense siezures thoughout my development; they were completely undiagnosed and I was punished for not paying attention. Sometimes, I heard garbled words in slow motion. I was always confused, and except for high verbal intelligence, I did not understand the world around me. It was after going over this with a good doctor and reading about epilepsy that I finally understood the disjointed and confused world of my childhood. I would often come out of seizures being yelled at: What's wrong with you! As a young mother I could not plan or organize much. I once left the groceries in the parking lot, but remembered to take home the baby! Now, I have been diagnosed with nonverbal learning disorder, which can be from either CHI or organic. Because of my inability to understand social cues and my eccentric personality, my psychiatrist has added Aspergers Syndrome to the list of diagnosis. This is a genetic condition. Many of you seem to be suffering from the same cognitive and motor difficulties from which I also suffer, though I do not remember my origional head injury. I have only a few friends, who do not understand why I lose jobs or have such a hard time, so I can relate to others just not understanding or believing. I am isolated and unemployed, although I did manage to make it through two degrees, part time and avoiding all math- I can not count change accurately- but still people find me strange and my facial expressions were never right, so I'm told, so employment is difficult. I hope I have not offended any one because my disorders are ambiguous but I always felt that I was hurt by my birth and the records confirmed it. Like many of you, they just assumed that I was all better. Take care, and if anyone wants to write: siennarose@cox.net

Date: 8/22/2004
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Had s CHI when 19 in a DUI acc. Off a 30 foot bridge landed on head on some rockss Peace out

Date: 8/27/2004
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It's very simple actually, I was driving to school one day when I hit a Ford F-150 Head on In my small car. I received a closed head injury from this, although I have scar's from this ordeal. I had bleeding from my brainstem and was given 72 hours to live. This in-turn gave my body the time needed to heal it had been searching for. I had been given at first 24 hour's then 48 then at last, 72 hour's. My brain was refusing to give up.

Date: 9/17/2004
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Hi Pauli, Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. You have a beautiful outlook on life. At times it is very hard to see the beauty of things... Love, C

Date: 10/25/2004
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Hello Pauli. My name is Threasa Teachout. I don't have a head injury but I have a cousin who does ( I take care of her). She had an accident on September 11, 1994. She was struck by a car and she landed on her forehead. It is very sad because she never had the chance to have children and get married. She was only 14 years old. I have tried to find things I could do for her at home (things to maybe stimulate her brain)maybe that was not the right word. I want to help her any way I can. I am glad that you have a site on this.

Date: 10/28/2004
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I never truly remembered all what happened; this is what I eventually pieced together. It was a Wednesday morning around 10:00 a.m. I was cycling on a mountain located near my home, roughly 12 miles away. I had just completed the eight mile climb and the eight mile decent. I thought to myself, "Why not go up a second time?”. I started on my climb and 30 minutes later I reached the top. I had just started down the mountain, usually reaching speeds in excess of 35 mph, when I saw something in my path, a rock?, a pothole?, an animal?, I don’t know. Approximately 12 hours later I woke up lying in a hospital bed.

The nurse told me I had had a cycling accident. I didn’t remember anything from two months in the past. I took me approximately two days to remember my friend’s phone numbers and everything that had happened prior to the day I crashed. The first day in the hospital was a complete blur, for the most part. Even today I don’t remember the day of the crash. Resulting from the crash I had received a severe closed head injury, a severely broken and destroyed left thumb, severe road burn, and bruising up and down my left side. My helmet was crushed, clothes torn, and my bicycle was damaged.

I had finally left the hospital after having surgery on my left thumb. The doctor had prescribed me the pain killer oxy-codone. For a month and a half I was drugged up on pain killers to help remove the pain from my left hand. After I had stopped taking the pain killer I started noticing changes. Nothing was funny any more, people made me irritated extremely easily, and I had no love of life. I still deal with the first two even today but have finally learned to love life, to an extent, once again.

Date: 11/9/2004
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hello pauli, thank you for this site and I hope you are doing better all the time. i am very new to all this, but am very concerned and interested in this situation because of a very close friend being in the hospital right now due to a very severe bike accident. He was unconscious when he was found and still hasn't really gotten past the first stage of his injury so we don't really know what happened and probably never will. reading all of these stories makes me believe very strongly that he has sustained a chi. He couldn't breathe on his own and was basically in a coma for 60 hours. as he woke up though he seemed to make vast improvements physically, but he did have to be restrained because he was trying to pull out his feeding tube and catheter and iv's. it's been a week now and he can breathe, use the bathroom and eat on his own. He's woken up enough to recognize family and friends, but is still very confused and disoriented and forgets why he is in the hospital. tonight he was asleep so hard that the nurse and some of us couldn't wake him up so he had to get a new cat scan which didn't reveal anything new, just that he is still going to take a long time to recover. he has two hairline fractures in his skull and neck and has bleeing on the brain. this has been so hard on friends like me, his girlfriend and his family. We all love him so much and of course want him to be the way he was but will love and care for him no matter what happens. He has been so far very sweet and polite with most people but his self esteem does seem to be down already. He is a drummer and very athletic and very loved by everyone who knows him. It's so hard to see such a wonderful person so quiet and still. thank you for these stories to let us know we're not alone. He really doesn't have any money to pay for these astronomical hospital bills. We hope he will get into a rehab program but don't know yet what will happen. Please add Chris miller to your list of cares and concerns, prayers, etc. My heart is with you all!!!!please write and stay strong! love, emily....barwulfrulzu@hotmail.com

Date: 11/14/2004
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my husband fell off our roof this past week. I never in my wildest dreams thought this would happen to me, to us, or to our family. He broke his skull in three places and also has closed head injuries. I want to be with him all the time, but I know that our children need me now too. It is very hard to see him hooked up to all those machines. But the Drs are very optimistic. I know i have a long road ahead of me, but you know what? I just want him to wake up. to look at me and to be able to kiss him again. I worry that he won't recognize me. And that he will be so changed by this that he won't love me anymore. We have only been married for five months. Christmas is next month and I don't know what I am going to do about presents for the kids. or even gas to get back and forth to the hospital which is an hour away. I am not able to spend the night by my husbands side because it is against hospital rules and the nurse he had last night asked me why I even bothered to visit him. "He doesn't even know your here," she said. But then why does he grip my hand when i talk to him. or try to move closer to me when I touch his face? I love him so much and I cant imagine not being there. I know I am not the only spouse that has ever gone through this.

Date: 11/27/2004
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To the lady who wrote in 14/11/04 whose husband fell off the roof...Please, if it's something I've learnt on my journey with my brother through his head injury-trust your own instincts not the majority of nurses who have proved themselves to mechanically go about their jobs unfeelingly and just dispense pills and plasters and try keep patients sedated so it's less work load for them! In his 8 week journey at hospital either my mom or I were with him the ENTIRE day until he slept, completely against visiting hours and eventually after the nurses moaning they grew to respect us for our care and dedication, which in all opinions have definitely contributed to his calmed improvements! Of course he knows you are there with him, in his condition he especially needs u now to be there and hold his hand, talk to him gently and reassure him everyday. Your care and love will get him through, have faith! We have seen miracle after miracle after a gloomily painted picture. Our road is still definitely long, as will yours be, but love, positiveness and care will pull you thru it. Everything happens for a reason and you will grow throughout yours and your husband's journey. Good luck and warm thoughts for his steady recovery...

Date: 12/13/2004
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I was hit by a drunk driver at 3 pm in the afternoon while on my way to a customer. I was healthy played golf three times a week and was proud of my job. Now I get dizzy walk in my sleep fall down and have a new black and blue each week. I am on workers comp who is putting me through hell I am not faking the symptoms they are getting worse. I worked hard all of my life to reach the American Dream. Now I am treated as if I were a criminal. Do you have any ideas Best Regards, Linda

Date: 12/19/2004
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Hi Pauli I'm in a very tough situation right now with my husband in 1997 he was in a motorcycle accident ha was in a coma for 32 days and suffered severe head injury we were friends at the time he went through rehab to relearn everything and fought them all the way he recovered 95% but had small seizures we got together in 2001 and since then his seizures have become worse he has had 3 in the past year the last one left him in a coma for 16 hours and when he woke up he has no short term memory and has lost some long term too he takes over 400 pills a month to control his seizures and anxiety his short term memory is about 5 to 30 seconds long so he asks the same questions over and over he is lost in our house cannot remember where any thing is at times he can be mean and angry with me be cause I get frustrated with him we a constantly running to the doctor or hospital I filed for his ss disability for him and he was denied and we are still fighting with them its been 14 months and we just got the doctors app with SS this is a joke he put all that money into ss and you have to fight them to get it I'm not sure how much longer I can take care or if he has another seizure how much more damage will be done to his brain we have no family in this area and live 30 miles from civilization I am stuck with taking care of the house, animals, and try to work a little on his good days but the fear of leaving him alone and all his problems are making me think I am going crazy and might need help myself we are having problems coming up with money to pay for his meds if the clinic doesn't have samples anyone with any advice please write in to Pauli so I can here from you thanks pauli it felt good to get it out Cheryl

Date: 12/22/2004
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Hi Pauli, My name is Christy, and I had a closed head injury in September, 1997. I just started college and I reported to class, like I did every Monday morning and it happened. I was standing in the middle of Manufacturing Process lab and for some unknown reason, maybe I was hit with a piece of wood or maybe I had a stroke, the doctors still to this day don't know. I was life flighted from my college to a hospital in Pittsburgh. I was raced in to surgery and I had a craniotomy, brain surgery were a piece of the skull is removed. The seriousness of my injury resulted in an induced coma. 3 days after surgery number 1, I was rushed back in for surgery number 2. After 16 days of being in a coma, I woke up and I was ready to leave, but I wasn't aloud. A week later, I was sent to Health South inpatient hospital. I went through 3 weeks of physical, speech, and occupational therapy. I was sent home and told that because I had a head injury I lost my drivers license, I wasn't aloud to return to college until next fall, and I had to continue outpatient therapy, speech and physical. In December, I retook my drivers test, passed and in March I was dismissed from all therapy and I went back to work. September the following year, I returned to college. I am currently have 2 college degrees and I am a high school technology teacher. I wish I knew or the doctors knew what happened to me to result in a deformed face. happyswoosh@hotmail.com

Date: 1/3/2005
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Hi Pauli and THANK YOU. I had begun to think I was losing my mind. On December 17th 2004 I was about to make a left turn from a highway to a side street. There was no left hand turn lane, but I had my blinker on and figured everything was OK. It wasn't. The lady that hit me was going about 45-50 and I was sitting still. At first I thought a bomb blew up my car. The very moment of impact gave me one of the worst headaches I've ever experienced. I screamed to call an ambulance. I was wearing my seat belt, but my chin still hit the steering wheel. By the time I reached the hospital, the headache had dulled, the ER doc wouldn't even talk to me about my head. I had back and neck pain as well. He was more interested in that. An hour later he dismissed me! I went home, still with a headache. I know this is long, please bear with me. The confusion set in days later. I went to see my regular MD, who also dismissed it. In my heart I know something is wrong. One day I was so confused I thought I had homework to do. I am 49 years old! It scared my husband to death. Scared me too. All the time I was talking, I knew something wasn't right. could someone please tell me what steps to take? Email me at Texjeansnpearls@aol.com. Thanks

Date: 3/3/2006
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My best friend just passed away she fell out of bed and hit her head and she was in a coma for two weeks they unplugged her You never know when or why but tell everyone you know how much you love them you may never be able to.

Date: 7/18/2006
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my husband has a closed head injury he will go on a short errand and be gone for hours he used to be artistic but has real problems with that and is really frustrated he cannot retain his memory of things like my name he also is deaf and doesnt read any help would be appreciated thank you. beth